Posted by: beagle4 | March 20, 2011

Deepest Desires of Men and Women

One suggestion made on ways to increase the number of comments received on your blog was to write about a controversial topic. Well, I’m not really aware of any controversial topics related to dreams. Please inform me if you can think of any. The only real controversy in the dream realm is on how to interpret a dream. Even still, I wouldn’t really consider this controversy since there isn’t any public debate or dire need to express your opinion about dream interpretation.

So for this post I will write about the next best thing, a topic that most people would be embarrassed to discuss publicly, sexual dreams. All semester I have wanted to include a video from South Park on my blog, but couldn’t really find the right topic that related. I feel that with the topic of sexual dreams, a video clip from South Park is fitting. In this clip Kenny gets high from cheesing (snorting cat piss) and passes out and starts to dream. I do not condone cheesing in any way. (The video clip is from South Park, so I apologize if you are offended in any way. South Park is rated TV-MA generally intended for adult audiences. The clip contains sexual images and violence. Watch accordingly.)

Dreaming about sex and having dreams of a sexual nature is incredibly common, and is nothing to be ashamed about. I feel that Dr. David Delvin does a good job explaining why humans of both sexes have sexual dreams: “We dream because of the intense activity that is constantly going on in our subconscious minds. And since sex is one of the most powerful of all human drives, it’s not surprising that so many dreams have a strong sexual content. If we have deep urges to do certain things, they are highly likely to come out in our dreams – where our consciences cannot prevent them happening.”

According to an article on ScienceDaily, a source for the latest research news, approximately 8% of everyday dream reports from both genders contain some form of sexual-related activity. At first, this percentage didn’t seem that significant until I thought about it; approximately once every twelve days a person has a sexual dream. This percentage comes from a study to determine the nature and context of sexual dreams completed in 2007. The study was conducted at the University of Montreal, by Dr. Antonio Zadra, who collected 3,500 home dream reports of men and women. From the data, sexual intercourse was the most common type of sexual dream content, followed by sexual propositions, kissing, fantasies, and last masturbation. Current or past partners were identified in 20% of women’s sexual dreams, compared to only 14% for men. Not surprisingly, multiple sex partners were reported twice as frequently in men’s sexual dreams.

As you probably could have guessed, Sigmund Freud concluded that almost all dreams represented some form of sexual repression. In his book “The Dream in Primitive Cultures” Freud explains his belief that anything in the form of a container was a symbol for the vagina (ex. box, bowl, tunnel) and anything oblong or suggestive of penetration represented the penis (ex. sticks, knives, pencils). Even walking up and down stairs was considered a sex act in Freud’s mind. (source) I personally would have to disagree with Freud on this one. I would agree that in some instances, dreams work in mysterious ways, and that these images could be censored versions of subconscious thoughts and desires in a hidden form. However, not everything is about sex! (at least for me personally, I’m not sure about the rest of humankind.) It is quite obvious after you wake up if you had a sexual dream. I don’t think dreaming about being in a tunnel is an automatic symbol that you were dreaming about a vagina.

Like analyzing regular dreams, studying sex dreams can also give you great insight and may have layers of meaning. It is possible that sexual dreams can be a sign of sexual frustration. If you have gone without sex for a long time, your unconscious will attempt to satisfy your sex drive in your dreams. Also, it is not uncommon to have sexual dreams about someone that you are not in a relationship with or even about an ex. This does not instantly mean that you would rather be dating someone else, just a clue to analyze your relationship on a deeper level.

I have created a poll out of curiosity. Answers are anonymous and it doesn’t tell me the name of the person that voted only the results, so don’t feel embarrassed to vote.

Now just close your eyes and dream…



  1. This is a great post–it made me laugh out loud! You don’t have to be controversial to be interesting, so I think you’re doing fine. I look forward to hearing what you think about chapter 1 of our next book :).

  2. You alluded to this in your post, but do you think it should be considered cheating if you constantly dream about someone other than your partner? I’ve seen people make a big deal about it.

    • Hm, that’s an interesting thought. I don’t know if it would be considered cheating necessarily because most people aren’t even aware that they are dreaming or have control of what is happening. I feel like to cheat you have to have intent (I’m kind of going off of the laws for murder). To constantly dream about someone else other than your partner, however, does sounds like an alarm from your subconscious. It’s different if it was to only happen once or twice. I would definitely question the relationship status, but who knows it could also mean nothing at all or have an even more hidden meaning.

  3. This is a good post Brett. I believe Mr. Freud is on to something here that every dream in a way has a sexual meaning. I can relate to it in many instances. There is often times tunnels in my dreams. Thanks for the info.

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